I accidentally had phone sex last night
Where is the hickey?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
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I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
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I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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