Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
