He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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