FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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