Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
