As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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