Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
