it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
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Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
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Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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