I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I party with great urgency now.
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