it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Randomize
