For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
