You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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