Umm I'm too high to move.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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