if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He did a backflip because drugs
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize