I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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