I need help removing her.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize