She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
