well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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