i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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