Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
He kissed a someone with a penis
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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