I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
