Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
