She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
