Don't you send me to vm
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
