Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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