Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
and she was petting her beer can
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
