i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
