You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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