Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
