in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
