on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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