there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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