She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
