apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
