don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
