Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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