The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
