The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
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Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
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Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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