it was like his penis was on wheels.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize