She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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