If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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