I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
