garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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