i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize