Don't you send me to vm
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
