i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
