You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I checked into jail on foursquare
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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