I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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