No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Tornado booty call.. dedication
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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