i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
