"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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