the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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