If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
