So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
