I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
