just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
