If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize