I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
did you just send me my own nude
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize