Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
