next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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