I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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