i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
