Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
