She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
