Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
