Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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