cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize